Tanja Pajevic’s Writes of Passage workshop was an inspiring, empowering experience! Tanja has the amazing talent of creating a totally positive and magical environment where each participant can feel comfortable and confident enough to share their most intimate work while giving deeply reflective and creative feedback to others. She is the kind of mentor that makes you feel not only supported and encouraged in your writing endeavors, but also in life’s challenges.
–Sherrie Scott, Playwright
Busyness [almost prevented me from taking the Reclaiming Yourself After Loss Workshop]. Also possibly feeling like the thing I was grieving happened so long ago . . . I found that everyone has these feelings and we don’t often get to connect on that level. Doing so was a wonderful and helpful process. It felt good to be real about grief and loss and how it reverberates in our lives over time . . . I left the retreat feeling like my energy was no longer being swallowed by my grief. So much freedom and joy in that! — Rise K.
What an incredible gift. I will be giving many of my family and friends copies of this stunning and relatable book. — R
Pajevic’s emotional rawness and eloquent honesty throughout her mother’s illness and death are reminiscent of Brene Brown and Glennon Melton. Having experienced major losses myself, her words and longing for a healthier way to grieve resonated deeply with me. I want to share this book with everyone, in order to help change how our society handles grief! — AC
This book is honest, resourceful, funny and sad. I absolutely loved it, have been giving away copies, and will certainly read it again myself. No matter what your grief is–the death of someone close to you, the death of a marriage, the death of a career or your own compromised health–this book will help you. It will help you think about what you’ve lost, let it sink in but also reframe it. From her wide-ranging reading/research, Pajevic shows us people we can listen to, things we can read, that will not take our grief away but will give us a new language for the things that are so painful in life. I am so impressed by her approach, by her human tone, by her ability to take her loss head on and share it with all of us along the way.
The only person who will not appreciate this book is someone who has never known loss of any kind. In other words, this book is for you. Rush out and get a copy, then make yourself some tea and read it. — CR
Many of us have lost (and all of us will loose) our Moms. It’s so hard.
I read this cover to cover on election day (2016). I didn’t realize while I was reading it just how much this book would help me with my feelings of loss and hopelessness that eve, (oh, how I wished my Mom were alive and I could talk to her about it!).
Solid, compassionate, insightful writing about the deep, loosing parent grief that is trouble for us all. This book is a lifeline.
Our hearts are broken open over and over again. May we be truly aware, awake and embrace the gifts of our grief.
Thank you Tanja, for writing about your process so open heartedly and gracefully. — Margot
Few writers dare to delve into the depths of grieving with the courage of Tanja Pajevic in THE SECRET LIFE OF GRIEF: A MEMOIR. This is a very complex yet immensely readable book–I couldn’t put it down. With an uncommon degree of emotional intelligence, Pajevic unpacks the conflicting claims of caring for oneself while mourning the death of her mother in the midst of a conflicted but loving marriage, motherhood, a writing career, and everyday life. I found particularly interesting her exploration of the differences between grief culture in the former Yugoslavia of her ancestors and the U.S., as well as the value of hospice. THE SECRET LIFE OF GRIEF is a book I’ll return to when experiencing loss in my own life, with gratitude for Pajevic’s authentic journey from pain to transformative love. — Gail D. Storey
Wow — I wish I’d read this much, much sooner!! I’ve had this book for a few months and just got around to reading it. It was a quick read (cover to cover during my daughter’s morning nap) but was packed with clear, good ideas gleaned from the author’s personal experience and numerous other good sources on relationships. This provided the gentle nudge I needed to refocus on getting professional help for lingering postpartum depression, recommit to a good habit of daily meditation and exercise, and frame some healthy conversations with my husband. This is now my top recommendation for a helpful resource for new moms (or dads) dealing with the inevitable changes that parenthood brings to relationships, as well as for anyone who’s commited enough to their relationship to read a short book and give it’s suggestions a try. And take my advice to give it a try sooner, not months and months later like I did. –abeyers
This is an awesome book to help with underlining issues and fixes the real problem. Can be used well for a self help book. Don’t pass it up if you want help with your marriage. This is a ‘Must Have’. You will not be sorry. — Devyn G
Everyone who has been married for awhile can use a marriage reboot and this book is a great tool. The author distills a wealth of research and information into concise and useful steps that you can take to improve your relationship with your spouse. The writing style is warm, comfortable, familiar and funny — it’s like having a friend coaching you along the path. The author’s personal stories (both funny and poignant) illustrate how the book’s tips and suggestions have worked in her own life. If you’ve ever felt like the “only one” struggling through the demands of marriage and parenthood, this book is a breath of fresh air and a helpful guide.Highly recommended! — Jenny K
Fantastic read! Tanja has a great way of giving the readers digestible chunks of information and keeping the mood light & fun. I’d definitely recommend reading this. –Emily O
This was super easy to read and had a lot of great tips. A couple of the ideas in this book made me completely rethink my approach to parenting and marriage. This is a great read for any parent of young kids who would like some new ideas on keeping yourself and your family happy and your marriage strong. –Rosalie