Tanja Pajevic

Tanja Pajevic

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Blog

When to Share Your Story, Part 2

December 6, 2017 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

In our last post, we talked about when to share your story if you’re working with a difficult situation, as well as when not to. But what if you’re writing about a difficult story? Do those same rules still apply? Yes! Remember how we talked about the importance of NOT sharing your story publicly until you’ve worked through it (Rule #1)? That applies even more when you’re writing about that story. Why? Because trying to share your story too early can lead to writer’s block. There’s simply too much pressure around how people will respond. Plus, when we share our stories before we’re ready, those all-too-vulnerable spots leave us wide open to attack. But even if you’re not yet ready to share your story, writing it can still be challenging. You might have to write your way through your story before you’re able […]

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When to Share Your Story (and When Not to)

November 22, 2017 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / 1 Comment

When is it safe to share your story, and when isn’t it? This is a question that needs to be navigated with care, whether you’re sharing a personal story with a friend or sharing your story with the wider public. Now that the holidays have arrived, this is a particularly timely topic. In general, my golden rule is this: Don’t share your story publicly until you’ve worked through it. What do I mean by that? If you’re working with a challenging personal story, bypass the instinct to share it at the holiday table (or on Facebook) until you’ve worked through your story enough so that it no longer triggers you. For those of you writing about some kind of personal challenge, this might mean working with a therapist or getting yourself the emotional support you need to work through the past (and shore […]

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What if People Don’t Like My Book? (And What if They Attack Me?!)

October 24, 2017 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / 2 Comments

What if People Don’t Like My Book? (And What if They Attack Me?!) Maybe you’re afraid of what your friends or neighbors will think of your book. Or maybe you’re worried about your family’s reaction. And what about those mean girls from your past, the ones you’re “friends” with on FB but don’t actually see in real life? Ack! I get it. Putting a book out can be a vulnerable experience, regardless of your book’s topic. Memoirs tend to expose the writer in ways both large and small, but so do all sorts of other books, including non-fiction and fiction. Even a seemingly “staid” book on a professional topic can send the best of us into a panic. Because we’re stepping out of our comfort zone. We’re being seen. And that can stop us in our tracks. When a situation doesn’t feel safe, […]

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Three Things You Need to Get Clear on Before You Write Your Book

October 19, 2017 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / 2 Comments

A great big welcome to all of the new folks in our wonderful little community! Thank you for being here. I treasure each and every one of you—truly. In the past few years, I’ve spoken with SO many people who’ve told me that they’ve always wanted to write a book, but haven’t quite been able to do it. Maybe they weren’t sure where to start, or they didn’t have time, or they were afraid of how their book would be received. Good lord, do I get it! It took me nearly 20 years to get my first book into the world, and during that time I stopped and started multiple projects, worried about what would happen once my book finally made it into the world and, like most of us, struggled to find the time to write. But once I finally published my […]

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What’s your story?

October 15, 2017 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

The other day, my son complained about feeling left out as the youngest kiddo in the group. I found myself commiserating, telling him that I’d always been the youngest, too, and had also felt left out. As soon as I had that thought, a part of me stepped back and asked if that was really true. Have I really always been the youngest? Have I always felt left out? True, I am the youngest in my family, and growing up, I was the youngest kid on the block. But was that the whole of the story? It wasn’t until I sat down to write about it that I saw just how much I’d allowed this old, unexamined story to inform my life choices. After all, Ken’s a few years older than me, as are most of my closest friends. But I also have friends who […]

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Reclaiming Mother’s Day

October 15, 2017 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

As Mother’s Day approaches, I feel an old, familiar dread. My mother died two years ago and no, I’m not over it yet. Worse still, I may never be.   After the second anniversary of her death, I assumed I’d finally be all right. At least I’d be over the worst of the grief.   But the grief continued to rise and fall in unpredictable patterns. At first, I blamed it on external events: another holiday season, the 22nd anniversary of my father’s death, my 45thbirthday. Or perhaps it was perimenopause, I told myself. As if the peaks and valleys of my grief were simply a side effect of my hormones.   Then I found myself thinking about acceptance and surrender after reading about a man struggling with the news that he might lose his leg. Instead of acknowledging the severity of his situation, […]

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About Tanja

I help smart, heart-centered writers, leaders and entrepreneurs write and publish their books.

tanja@tanjapajevic.com

Recent Posts

  • Birthing a Book + Memoir Writing Classes
  • How to Build a Strong Narrative Arc in Memoir
  • The Importance of Choosing
  • What are You Really Writing About?

Recent Books

The Secret Life of Grief book9 Steps to Heal Your Resentment and Reboot Your Marriage book

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