Course Correcting, Compassion and Forgiveness

July 21, 2021 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

In my Memoir Mastery course, we talk a lot about course-correcting. Writing a compelling memoir isn’t the straightest of paths. There’s exploration and play, deepening and thickening, and the final piece often looks different than expected. That’s why we start with a plan, then compassionately adjust as we go. It’s like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. –E.L. Doctorow Part of the writing process involves course-correcting our expectations. We often think the process will be easier and quicker than it is. That’s where compassion and self-forgiveness come in. If we get stuck in the inner critic loop, we’re done. I’ve learned this the hard way. In the past 20 years, I’ve written five books, two of which have been published. Course-correcting has been an essential part of this […]

Which Creative Seeds are You Planting?

April 26, 2021 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

Change and transition seem to be my watchwords these days. Spring, the Covid vaccine and pivotal birthdays have been going on in my corner of the world, inspiring me to think about ritual, thresholds and what inspires real change. All the more so after Derek Chauvin’s guilty verdict here in the U.S. last week. It was a drop in the bucket, to be sure. But finally, a bit of accountability. Let’s keep it coming, folks. We have so much work to do with Black Lives Matter, climate change, gun reform and anti-Asian violence, to name a few of the shifts we’re currently navigating. With biracial children and a Japanese American husband, the recent spate of anti-Asian violence has hit especially close to home. (See a list of anti-Asian violence resources here.) All of which has got me thinking about what enables change and […]

Claiming Your Voice in Memoir

October 28, 2020 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

I’ve been thinking about voice a lot lately. Claiming our voices in the upcoming election has become a critical issue for those of us living in the U.S. But it’s also a critical issue in memoir. Because memoir, it seems to me, is largely about reclaiming our stories. It’s about reclaiming our voices. And that means taking back our power on a soul level. This is what makes it such hard work. There’s the craft and technique of memoir, and then there’s the spiritual journey. And getting to the point where we feel safe enough to allow that voice to fully emerge on the page can be a journey. This is why I stress safety so much in my work. Without a safe container, it’s too easy to go off the rails. This is also when the inner critic tends to rear its […]

How to Grow Your Author Platform and Reach Your Ideal Reader

February 27, 2020 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

One of the biggest challenges authors face is getting their books into the right hands. For your book to be successful, you need to be able to reach your ideal reader. This is critical whether you’re publishing with a traditional publisher or going the self-publishing (or indie publishing) route. I cannot stress this enough: your book’s success depends on you being able to reach your people. What is an Author Platform and Why Does it Matter? In the publishing world, your platform as an author is your ability to sell books through who you are or who you can reach. This usually breaks down into the following areas: who you are (i.e.: are you famous? an expert in your field? etc.) your personal and professional connections media outlets (including social media) that you can use to sell books. Ugh, right? This is the […]

Why We Gather as Writers (the Not-So-Obvious Reasons)

January 22, 2020 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

I’ve been reading Priya Parker’s book, The Art of Gathering, and it’s gotten me thinking about why and how we gather for various occasions. And why specifically do we writers gather? Support and accountability are the usual reasons. Many of us are writing at home, alone, and it helps to know that someone else has our back. It’s important that we have at least one person in our corner. But why else do we gather? What are the deeper reasons behind our coming together? Here’s what I’ve found over 20 years of teaching writing to various communities and levels: Writing groups spark creativity. I can discuss the same topic until I’m blue in the face, but there’s something magical about the back-and-forth that happens within a larger group. It often sparks creativity as well as leads to the next level of breakthrough. We […]

Does This Sound Familiar? (+ free training 9/18)

September 11, 2019 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

Something I often talk about with my clients is our tendency to move the goal post (i.e.: expanding the scope of a writing project by making it longer, fancier or more complicated than it needs to be). Sound familiar? (I do it, too.) We’re human, after all, and this is one the primary ways the inner critic shows up, by catapulting us into fear and overwhelm. Which is what happened to two of my clients this week. M. and K. are both fabulous women, strong writers and successful business owners writing books on their topic of expertise. Intimidated by the vastness of the project before them, both started piling more to-dos on their writing plate. Once I helped them see how they were moving the goal post, we could get back on track and start moving forward, one manageable step at a time. […]

When (and How) to Ask for Feedback on Your Writing

July 31, 2019 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

As I mentioned in my last post, sharing your writing too early (or sharing it with the wrong people), is one of the fastest paths to writer’s block. Lord knows I’ve been there myself, as well as coached plenty of writers back from the brink of despair caused by well-meaning (but unhelpful) feedback. Along the way, I’ve come up with the following process for protecting yourself and your writing. Stage 1: Shitty First Draft When your writing is new (and still vulnerable), the last thing you want to do is ask for detailed feedback. Why? Because you’re just getting your ideas down on the page at this point—you’re still playing, still exploring. Chances are, you don’t even fully know what you have quite yet. The writing is changing and growing, and so are you. That’s why the only kind of feedback I recommend […]

What if My Story Doesn’t Matter?

March 13, 2019 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

Last week, we covered some of the scary questions that arise when we’re writing memoir. Today’s question–What if My Story Doesn’t Matter?!–is one we all grapple with at some point. Some folks get stuck here, only writing a few words. Others feel the cold fear of this dagger as they’re getting ready to share their story with the world. First and foremost: if you’re grappling with this doubt, it’s a sure sign that your inner critic is in charge. How do I know? Because I’ve battled this personally as well as helped countless other writers navigate this soul-sucking question. And I’m here to tell you that this question is your inner critic’s attempt to keep you from putting yourself out there. It’s an artillery attack disguised as a checkpoint to keep you in line. Your inner critic’s job, after all, is to keep […]

Will I Get Sued? And Other Scary Questions When Writing Memoir

March 6, 2019 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

Today, let’s talk about some of the scary questions that pop up when we’re writing (or even considering writing) memoir. Will I get sued? Nope. It’s rare for an author to get sued over a memoir. Really. For that to happen, someone would have to convince a lawyer to hire them, which is a stretch, since most lawyers won’t take on a libel case unless they know they’re going to earn a lot of money. So you’d have to be a) pretty famous and/or b) be writing a huge book, like Michelle Obama. I don’t think that applies to most of us. Plus, for a lawyer to win a libel case, they’d have to prove that whatever you wrote was false. Here are some pretty easy ways to protect yourself: • Tell the truth. • Change names and identifying details. • Put a […]

15 Ways to Get Unstuck and Reboot Your Writing Project

August 20, 2018 / Tanja Pajevic / blog / No Comments

In our last post, we discussed whether or not to keep going with your current writing project. Now let’s talk about the logistical pieces involved in getting unstuck and rebooting your writing project. Here are about 15 ways to help you move forward—one compassionate step at a time. 15 Ways to Get Unstuck and Reboot Your Writing Project Schedule a set time to restart your project and put it in your planner. If this feels too big, start with 5 or 10 minutes. Treat this as a sacred date with yourself. It is. Start with one easy, small goal. Start with 5 minutes if you’re drowning in overwhelm. Use that first writer’s date to pull out your writing and leaf through it, familiarizing yourself with your project. If you’re ready to start with something bigger, start with 15 or 30 minutes. If the […]